Lonely

Being mom to a kid who gets sick all the time is really isolating. Fall is my absolute favorite season, but I've started dreading it, because it means the start of being home pretty much all the time now. I don't even get out of the house for the most basic things like church and coffee break now, because we go once, he picks up some bug that he fights for a week or two (so we stay home during that time), then the whole cycle repeats itself the next week. So we're there one week, off for at least two, then it starts over. It's extremely frustrating. Cole is so social and LOVES to be in nursery playing with other kids, so it just stinks that something he loves to do and should be just normal to do gets him sick every time. I feel like I will never make friends because we can hardly attend things for half the year, and people act like I'm choosing to not attend church things because I'm a slacker or bad Christian, not because I literally cannot afford a sitter to come sit with my sick son so I can attend things. I miss having friends, talking to other adults, and not having to worry about whether others are bringing some bug somewhere and how soon afterward Cole's going to catch it and end up with an asthma flare. I miss play dates and lunch with friends and just getting out of the house! It shouldn't be like this. But I know I've just got to suck it up, because that is how it's going to be for awhile. I just wish people understood more that it's not me not wanting to be there, that I really want to cultivate friendships, that I hate that this is how it is.